The simple secret to no regrets!

Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart. — Basil Rathbone

What a lovely quote, don’t you think?

And like so many quotes, especially of the inspiration varietal, it is true, but also seems unattainable.

Never regret anything? WHAAAAAT?!?

And never regret anything that is done with sincere affection…?

I can say that before I started my boundaries journey) and even fairly deep into it, if I’m being totally honest) MOST of my regrets were related to my sincerest affections.

In a 2018 study, though, that’s not what most people label their biggest regret. When asked to name their single biggest life regret, 76 percent of participants cite an action they did not take that would have helped them realize their ideal self.

Basically, the biggest regret we'll have in life is not living up to our full potential and not chasing after our dreams.

The one thing we can't undo is not putting in the effort to become the best version of ourselves, in life and in love.

Which I guess is what the younger me was really experiencing. Sure, I was being super-dramatic and making it all about love, but it was really that in love I was not being the self I KNEW I could be. The one I felt was right.

I was being…someone else.

And I do regret that.

Or, I did. I don’t actually regret it now, because I realize that at the time I was doing the best I could. I was still learning my way through the world.

Now, with healthy boundaries, I live my life with almost zero regrets, because I do the best I can in every situation.

It is always perfect? No. But doing the best I can—what I think is right and good AND within my boundaries—in every situation is the core of living a life of no regrets.

It's simple, but it's not easy.

That's one reason that every New Year's I offer a "No Regrets" webinar free to the public, and I have a more detailed workshop available to my clients.

Because even simple can be challenging.