Lessons The Ug-Dorable Dogpool can teach us about love.

“A beautiful thing is rarely perfect.” - Me, in People-Pleaser No More!

Back in 1997, I picked up a new book, It's About Time!: The Six Styles of Procrastination and How to Overcome Them.

I read it cover to cover, because "Hi! I'm a lifelong procrastinator."

And even more than twenty five years later, I still remember identifying strongly with one of the six styles: Perfectionistic Procrastination.

Honestly, still do, but I've learned to reduce the impact that has on my life in some areas, and really lean into in the areas where I can enjoy my perfectionistic tendencies, like with Ralpth, the ug-dorable dog, who I created for my People-pleaser No More Workbook and journal to illustrate that love does not require perfection.

In fact, today I'm going to make the argument that it's the exact opposite.

Love, at least human love, requires Imperfection to thrive.

Did you know... 🤔

According to OkCupid’s data, that those with “imperfections,” or features that might not be considered traditionally beautiful get more positive connections than those who might fit all of the standards for beauty from a “perfection” standpoint?

Interesting, really.

I think it’s because when we love others, we love their flaws as much as we love their perfections.

And then, once we’ve fallen in love with them, flaws and all, they ARE perfect—for us.

But we often don’t give ourselves the same grace.

We still magnify every imperfection and blemish (physical or otherwise), and try to play them down and keep them out of sight.

And imagine this...

Imagine being in a relationship with someone who is perfect.

Who never, ever has a hair mussed.

Who doesn't ever trip or do anything clumsy.

Who is always perfectly compassionate.

Who never looses their sh*t.

Who always seems to do the right thing, know the right answer, and get's everything right.

And even worse, they never, ever, ever act meanly about it.

Infuriating, huh? It would be almost impossible to be fully and completely human around someone like that, and yet, for some reason, we often strive to be that person.

I'd written about ug-dorable critters...

In my People Pleaser No More! Workbook & Journal to illustrate a few of the amazing animals who captured our hearts on social media with their less-than-perfect demeanors. Tuna was my original inspiration for Ralpth:

But I also went down the rabbit hole, and visited memories of Grumpy Cat...

Munchkin...

And even paid a visit to possums, much vilified more most of my years, but have since had quite the successful PR campaign.

Imperfection is relatable. It's understandable. Perfection never is.

Perfection is awe-inspiring, sure. It's desireable. It's beautiful.

But it's not lovable.

I'm not perfect. Far from it.

And I need someone who not only understand my imperfections, but is wonderfully imperfect themselves. Who will complement who I am with who they are. Who will grow and laugh and love with me.

Dogpool is a star.

And loved by millions.

Dogpool is not perfect, unless you stretch your imagination to "Perfectly imperfect."

But Dogpool is loveable.

And in my view, loveable is preferable to perfect.

Thoughts?