December 11: “Nookie said…” and other terrible relationship moves.

Some people will use any information as a weapon.

The sharper the tool, the more damage they can do.

So when I shared that piece of science yesterday—something that could genuinely help people understand the minds of predators—I also knew it came with a risk.

Not because anyone said anything this time, but because… ’ve been here before.

Back in October, someone came at me with:

“PLEASE stop teaching assholes to be stealthy. They're dangerous enough.”
(https://my.curiouser.life/post/point-8)

And you know what? I get the fear behind that.

Because yeah, some people will take powerful, healing information and twist it into something harmful. Not everyone uses insight for good.

And honestly?

That sucks.

And it happens in non-psychopath situations as well. When someone learns something that could change their life…and immediately tries to weaponize it to “fix” someone else.

Like the people who’ve taken my communication tools home and said to their partner:

“Nookie said you should be communicating like this.”

Ummm…

Nope.

That’s not how this works.

That’s not how any of this works.

I don’t teach for your partner. I teach for you.

I share what I know so you can grow.

You can’t learn for someone else.

You can’t make someone change by studying harder.

You can’t drag someone to the promised land of relational enlightenment while quoting me (or anyone) like scripture.

You can only learn for you. You can only apply it to your own choices, behaviors, boundaries. You can only change your side of the interaction.

And when you do?

Things shift.

Not because you forced anyone else to change…but because you shifted the entire dynamic by showing up differently.

And that’s the power of this work.

So yes, I’ll keep sharing. Yes, I’ll keep teaching. And yes, some numpty may still try to use it as a hammer.

But you won’t.

Because you’re not learning this to be clever.

You’re learning it to be clearer, kinder, and more connected, right?

And if you’re ready to take that next step, to get serious about the relationship shifts you crave?

Book your free 15-minute Big Ask call with me. We’ll talk. You’ll bring your Big Ask. And we’ll make a real move toward it.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Ever had someone throw “expert advice” in your face like a weapon?

Or had someone try to “fix” you using some shiny new insight they just learned? Hit reply. I really want to hear about it.