February 2: She wanted safety. I wanted fire. We both got what we wanted.

I think I time-traveled this weekend.

Raleigh got snow—actual snow. Not the “maybe half an inch and a prayer” kind. The kind that makes the whole city slow down and hush up.

So I gave myself permission to just be.

No calendar.

No calls.

Just a fuzzy blanket, hot tea, and not knowing what day it was.

And today?

I want to offer a story.

A perspective shift.

You’ve heard me talk about my partner. The passion. The connection. The fierce, unrelenting knowing of each other.

We got here through radical honesty.

Vulnerability that cracked us open and said, Here. Look at all of it. Stay, if you dare.

But this isn’t about us.

It’s about a friend of mine—let’s call her Tink.

She was there when this love was just beginning.

When I was getting unraveled and re-stitched with every moment, turned inside out in the best, most deliciously unnerving way.

I was lit up.

It was proof to me that everyone who told me I was “too much,” that I’d never find someone who could meet me in that hunger, that depth, that intensity...was full of absolute horseschnitzel.

But Tink?

She wasn’t jealous.

She was horrified.

Not because she thought I was in danger.

But because the very idea of being seen that fully made her want to crawl into a soft, safe cave with hot soup and never come out.

She wanted a calm love.

A sure thing.

A steady rhythm.

A life of gentle care and family game nights and holiday cards with matching outfits.

And she wasn’t wrong.

Neither was I.

We’re both still in love.

We’re both still thriving with our sweeties.

Because we’re not trying to be carbon copies of each other’s dreams.

We didn’t compromise our desires to make them “palatable.”

We just dared to want what we wanted.

So this is your reminder:

How you love is yours.

How you want to be loved is yours.

Your relationships don’t need to impress the group chat, appease your ex, or follow the “shoulds” of strangers with loud opinions and zero intimacy skills.

You’re allowed to want exactly what you want.

You’re allowed to be Tink.

Or me.

Or probably somebody wildly different than either of us.

But if you don’t even know what your version of love looks like… let’s talk.

I offer a free 15-minute Big Ask call for exactly this reason.

To help you name what you want.

To figure out what fits YOU—not the algorithm, not the He Man Woman Haters crowding the sulkernet, not some fantasy of who you should be by now.

Just you. And your love.

Book here:

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. I’d love to hear from you on this—does this story spark something in you? Ever been the Tink… or the one who scared the Tink?

Hit reply and let’s talk.