January 5: They said: “I wouldn’t take the relationship seriously”

A few days ago, I asked this online:

“What would YOU do in a relationship if you believed you were allowed to do what you want?

And what (if anything) terrifies you about a partner doing what they want?”

Someone responded:

“I wouldn’t take the relationship seriously.”

So I asked why.

They said:

"Doing whatever I want will not always be what my partner wants...or something they are not ready for...or something they do not want in their life. And as much as I believe being with someone doesn't make that person your possession, I have found that from fuck buddies to life partners everyone seeks out accountability and reliability."

And honestly?

That part I agree with.

But what comes next is what I want to gently nudge on.

They said:

"If my partner says I can do whatever I want and they don’t care... I wonder why not? Am I not important? Is what I do that inconsequential in their lives?"

For me, it’s the exact opposite.

I want my partner to do what they want because I care.

Because I do want to know them. To see them. To see what they choose, not what they perform. And I want them to feel safe enough to want what they want... and trust that I’m doing the same.

I tell people this all the time:

I want you to do with me what you want. I will do what I want.

And we will build a relationship—or not—based on where those circles overlap.

It’s not self-sacrifice.

It’s self sovereignty.

It’s choosing someone from a place of freedom, not obligation.

To me, that’s not a threat to love.

That is love.

And maybe that idea feels strange to you.

Maybe it even sounds a little scary.

But if there’s a whisper in you that says:

“I think I’ve given up too much of myself in relationships…”

I want to invite you to something that starts tomorrow.

30 Days to End People-Pleasing

It begins inside The Studio and is open to all 6-month and yearly members.

Every day, for the next 30, you’ll get a 10–15 minute practice to help you show up in your life and your relationships as you.

Not who others want you to be. Not who you were trained to be. Not the performance.

Just... you.

If that sounds like the kind of shift you’re craving, come join us:

https://curiouser.me/the-studio

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. What do you think? Do you agree with that person’s comment? Or with mine? Or maybe both in different ways?

Hit reply—I’d love to hear your take.