January 13: You said you were “fine”... but were you?

January 13, 2026•2 min read

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Last week, during a client session, I said something I’ve believed for years…
But had never quite said out loud in that way:

“Boundaries are how we protect our personal power. And 90% of the time, we’re the ones stomping them.”

Think about it.

You say, “That person crossed my boundary.”

Okay, sure, they may have, without even realizing. But if you let it go, who actually stomped it?

If someone nudges your line and you’re like, “Eh, I don’t want to fight about it right now…” That’s you.

Stomping it.

For them.

We don’t mean to.

But we do it all the time.

There’s a local situation that reminded me of this.

Someone got hurt.

They asked for help, got it, even got offered a sincere apology. They said they were good. They closed the loop.

Now, six months later, they’re saying they’re still hurting. That not enough was done.

But they shut the door.

They accepted the apology (without engaging), and told everyone they were fine.

They stomped their own boundary.

And I get it.

Maybe you’ve done this too—said something was OK, when every fiber of your body was not OK.

Maybe you even believed it was. (We get really good at minimizing ourselves.)

Or maybe it was OK…until the trauma hit later and you didn’t know how to go back, how to say, “Hey, I’m not actually fine. Can we revisit this?”

So instead, you lash out. You ghost. You blame.

You expect people to “do more,” even though you told them not to worry about it.

This. This is why I teach boundaries.

Not as walls. But as self-trust. As alignment.

As tools to help you know when something’s off—even when it’s subtle. Even when it’s confusing.

This is the heart of what we’re doing inside 30 Days to End People-Pleasing in The Studio right now.

And it’s what I do with every client.

We talk. We dig. We name the buried lines inside you, and bring them up to the surface so they can actually guide your life—and your relationships.

If you’re feeling that little ping of resonance, let’s talk.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consult.

Bring your story, your confusion, your “Am I just making a big deal out of nothing?”

Let’s find the truth in it.

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Have you ever stomped your own boundary? Told someone you were fine—when you weren’t? What happened next?

Hit reply—I’d love to hear your story.