January 14: Money isn't the reason you're single (but nice try).
Let’s talk about the thing no one really wants to talk about:
Money. And dating.
(And what happens when the two get tangled up in a shame spiral powered by memes, misinformation, and YouTube rage bros.)
Over the past few months, I’ve been fielding a LOT of questions—especially from men—about what it costs to date these days.
I get it.
Because when rent is climbing, eggs cost $42/dozen, and every influencer with a ring light is yelling “If he wanted to, he would!”...
It’s easy to think your bank account is the main reason you’re single.
But here’s the truth:
Being broke isn’t the problem.
You’re probably dealing with something sneakier.
Something I call: Daterminism.
noun
The lazy cousin of destiny. A fixed belief that some single trait—your income, your height, your job, or your anime collection—is the one and only reason you're still single.
Spoiler: It's not.
Daterminism is what happens when the internet (or your inner critic) convinces you that if you just made more money, everything in your love life would magically fall into place.
And look, I get the appeal.
It gives you a simple explanation.
It gives you something to blame.
But it also keeps you stuck.
There is rarely ONE THING that makes someone undateable.
After all, as I posted online yesterday, ”Fun fact, piles of money isn't a personality. Hope this helps!”
That’s why I’m hosting a workshop on January 22 at 8pm ET called:
Broke Isn’t the Problem! Men, Money, and the Myths Sabotaging Modern Dating
And we’re going to talk about exactly why this mindset is so seductive… and so wrong.
For instance, did you know:
When women perceive a man as wealthy, they’re more likely to be interested in casual sex, but not long-term commitment?
Which means?
Money does boost short-term appeal. Not long-term connection.
So much for “just get rich, bro.” 🙃
This workshop is for you if you’ve ever thought:
“If I just made more money, dating would finally work.”
Because what the research and real-world experience actually show is more uncomfortable… and way more useful:
Money isn’t the main thing getting in your way.
Here’s what we will cover:
What women are actually responding to (hint: not your W-2)
Why “provider” myths won’t die, and how they still screw things up
How fun, stability, presence, and emotional ease outperform income
Why blaming money feels protective—but keeps you stuck
What to focus on instead if you want actual traction in dating today
This is not a pep talk, it’s not a hustle-hard seminar, and it’s definitely not a “be richer, bro” TED Talk.
It’s a reality-based reset for men who are done chasing dollar signs and ready to build connection that actually lasts.
And hey—if you’re not a man, but this topic affects you (because... it does)?
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a daterminism-fueled dating disaster, or you just want to understand men’s frustrations better—you’re invited too.
Thoughtful voices always welcome.
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
PS: Got opinions about this? A story, a belief, or a myth you’ve wrestled with around dating and money?
Hit reply and tell me. I’d love to hear how this shows up in your world.