October 28: 200 swipes for one coffee?

I came across something today that I wanted to share with you.

Scott Galloway was doing his “Male Loneliness Epidemic” spiel:

“A man of average attractiveness has to swipe right 200 times to get one coffee and then four of those five coffees will ghost him.”

And a woman who goes by Theyvedit replied:

“The male loneliness epidemic discussion is hilarious, honestly, because if there are a bunch of lonely men out there romantically, that means there are a bunch of romantically lonely women out there too.”

Absolutely.

100%.

At least for those heterosexually inclined.

I’ve been saying this since 2018 and before.

The “Top 10%” thing was making the rounds long before that, and I debunked it back then.

What’s different now is that over the past eight years, more and more women have decided that romantic loneliness is not the worst fate.

They’ve chosen to opt out of trying to convince men that they don’t need a chiseled jaw, a fat wallet, or a six-pack.

Just basic decency, deep love, and a few dad jokes.

And that has some men online absolutely livid.

So let’s talk about that.

You may or may not know this about me:

I joined the PUA (Pick-Up Artist) community in 2007.

I first joined as myself, Nookie.

Not long after, I created a sock account and joined as a man.

I learned A LOT.

As Nookie, I got the polished pitch.

I was celebrated as a “sexually adventurous and desirable woman.”

Just what men were seeking.

I was held up as an example.

As “one of the guys,” I got the backstage version:

Women ranked like inventory, conversations scripted like sales calls, and men high-fiving each other for “closing” while quietly feeling lonelier than when they started.

What I learned most is about the commodifying of romance and sex.

I also learned how the men selling romance and sex have twisted the language and discourse online into something that is barely human and mostly evil over the past two decades.

Honestly, some days I despair of even making a dent.

But then I meet a new client, or I see a breakthrough, or someone writes to tell me I’ve made a difference in their life... and that hit is one of the best highs ever.

So I keep chasing it.

Here’s my take:

Many humans are lonely.

Romantically, but also just lonely overall.

And that sucks.

It hurts.

It’s depressing.

It makes a lot of people feel bad about themselves and about humans in general.

That is real.

And it’s ALL humans who suffer.

Not men.

Not women.

Humans.

We just suffer in different ways.

And there is a way out. A way to be less lonely.

That’s the work I do with my clients, and right now I have two coaching spots open.

If you’re tired of being told your worth is a swipe count, let’s talk about what real connection could look like for you.

👉 https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. I want to hear your take. What’s your gut reaction when you hear “male loneliness epidemic”? And have you felt the kind of loneliness this conversation is about, whatever your gender?

Hit reply and tell me. I read every response.