August 13: Two tools so nobody uses you again…
I had a totally different topic queued up for today.
But then, while I was warming up my computer (and my brain), I read a comment left this morning on yesterday's "change" conversation:
"Normally I make changes within for myself. What's the point when people then take advantage?"
And well.
There went that plan.
Because that question?
That's boundaries.
Every time.
In my relationship toolbox, I've got two tools for not being used or taken advantage of:
Boundaries. Always.
My No Regrets life plan.
Honestly, boundaries alone will do the job, if you know how to use them.
Which takes practice.
And skill.
And a whole lot of trial and error.
That's where the No Regrets framework comes in.
I built it, tested it on myself for over 15 years, and used it to figure out where I needed boundaries in the first place.
Primarily in relationships.
But it works on basically everything.
The short version, the questions I run every big decision through:
Am I telling the whole truth, or swallowing it?
Does this choice line up with my values, or my fears?
If this ended tomorrow, would I still be glad I did it?
Am I saying yes because I want to, or because I'm scared to say no?
Will future-me thank me for this, or curse me?
Run your choices through questions like that, and your boundaries practically draw themselves.
You start seeing exactly where you're bending, where you're settling, and where you've been handing pieces of yourself to people who were never going to hand anything back.
This framework is what actually led me to boundaries.
It's what led me to the love of my life.
It's what led me to make the changes that actually mattered, not the performative kind.
Today, in Curiouser + Curiouser (the new Studio, and yes, it's free), I'm posting Regret-Proof Love, a full breakdown of how I built a life I will never look back on with regret, and how I know, without question, that nobody gets to use me anymore.
It's yours.
If you want it.
Want a quick taste before you dive in? Here's the 10-minute version, just enough to get the gist and decide if you want the full deep-dive (which is waiting for you in Curiouser + Curiouser).
If you like that, just commit to learning and growing, for you, and it's yours to start putting into practice.
This is for the people who want a community that's friendly, respectful, and actually interested in figuring this stuff out together.
Join today, and start building your own regret-proof love life.
Reply to any text or email from me, or text us at +1-855-712-5433 with:
I want to learn
Your Discord ID
I'm inviting people in order, so it might be quick, it might take a minute. Depends on demand.
--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. That comment from this morning, "what's the point when people take advantage?" It made me wonder: Have you tried to make a change for you, only to watch someone else try to cash in on it?
Hit reply, let's talk about it.