April 3: He called me "actually coherent." 🤣🤣🤣

I was online earlier today when a man posted in a Facebook group for men seeking relationship advice from women.

His message was essentially: women are a waste of your time and energy, stop being a simp, chase goals not holes.

Goals not holes!

🤣🤣🤣

Here's the thing. He's not entirely wrong.

Self-focus, building a life with real value, showing up authentically, not outsourcing your happiness to another person... that's solid.

It's actually a foundation of what I teach.

But then I looked at where he posted it, in a group dedicated to men getting relationship advice from women.

He didn't wander in by accident.

He found the space, joined, formed opinions about it, and delivered an unsolicited lecture about how evolved he was and how lost everyone else was.

That's not a man at peace with his choices.

That's a man who needs an audience.

I replied that he was mostly right, but also a perfect example of how someone can be technically right and still doing it for the wrong reasons.

He replied that my comment was "actually coherent," which... I noticed.

Framing thoughtfulness as surprising is condescension dressed up as a compliment.

And typing that out loud tells you everything about the posture that shaped his original post: women's perspectives are suspect by default, valuable only when they happen to agree with you.

The advice itself isn't the problem.

The contempt he embedded in every letter is.

Because a person who is genuinely satisfied with the life they've built doesn't need to go find strangers to feel superior to. They're too busy living.

And the name-calling? Simps. Losers. Weak egos.

That's not tough love. That's someone trying to feel elevated by making others feel small.

This is exactly where the manosphere went sideways, in my opinion.

Some men figured out something real about authenticity and self-development, and then wrapped it in so much contempt that the message became a vehicle for loneliness, not a cure for it.

You deserve better than that.

Better advice, better role models, better conversations.

If you're ready for one, my free 15-minute Big Ask consultation is exactly that: a real conversation about what you actually want, and what's been getting in the way.

No lectures.

No contempt.

Just clarity.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. My book Take No Sh*t! Build Better Relationships Through Discovering, Creating and Maintaining Healthy Boundaries hasn't been released by Amazon quite yet, but I expect it later today.

I'll send your copy as soon as it drops. Sit tight.