March 30: "The good ones don't believe sh*t like this."

I had a conversation the other day.

You’ve probably seen or had similar yourself online.

He rolled in hot with: "Do women ever accept that they're hopelessly attracted to toxic men and ignore the good ones?"

I replied: "'The good ones don't believe sh*t like this. Hope this helps!"

He did not, in fact, take the help.

Instead: "Women are too easily offended by the truth these days. Women are overexposing themselves to the dating market and come out jaded."

So, I matched his energy: "Men are overexposing themselves to manosphere content these days and come out hateful and twisted."

Then he told me the whole sad origin story:

Absent fathers.

Neglected sons.

A world that told young men they were worthless without earning their value.

He wasn't wrong about the wounds. He was just very wrong about the prescription.

Because here's the thing: pain is an explanation, not an excuse.

I've been online since 1994.

BBSs. AOL. Prodigy. Compuserve.

I’ve watched seduction communities promise awkward, lonely men that a few tricks would get them the girl. And when it didn't work, it was obviously women's fault.

That became the direct pipeline to incels and MGTOW.

The bitterness was baked in carefully. FOR PROFIT.

No, the manosphere didn't create broken men.

It recruited them. And then it handed them a story where women are the enemy, and going to Thailand to find a foreign (read: submissive) bride is the victory lap.

By the end of our exchange, he was proudly telling me he'd given up on women while posting in a relationship forum, performing for strangers on the internet.

Anonymous.

Unaccountable.

Yet, still trying to be seen.

I pointed that out.

He didn’t reply again.

Here's what I’d like you to sit with, if you will:

The men who get swallowed up by that world almost always started somewhere relatable.

Real hurt.

Real rejection.

Real loneliness.

The tragedy isn't the pain. It's what they did with it.

Hate isn't a healing strategy.

And "going your own way" while obsessing over the people you claim not to need?

That's not freedom. That's a slightly larger version of the same cage.

Are you actually happy with how your relationship journey is going?

Not "fine."

Not "whatever."

Happy.

Because if something's nagging at you, if you're frustrated, stuck, or quietly wondering if you're doing this all wrong, I’d love to talk with you.

My free 15-minute Big Ask consultation is exactly that: you bring your biggest, most stuck question, and we dig in.

No pitch.

No pressure.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. This one got me fired up, and I'd love to know if it landed for you, too. Have you encountered this kind of thinking? Online, IRL, maybe even in yourself at a rough moment?

Hit reply. Tell me. No wrong answers.