December 2: “But I said I love you…” (and other red flags)

Words are free, but damn, they can cost you everything.

Especially when they’re used like weapons.

Sharp little syllables that say, “I love you,” while slicing up your whole sense of self.

I used to crave those words, but after an emotionally abusive marriage?

Even the sweet ones got caught in my throat.

It was like my brain had chewed through the cables that ranfrom my heart to my lips.

Then ADHD got in the mix and made it worse.

Did I say something nice already? Was it yesterday…or last month?

Who knows!

Time blindness is a jerk like that.

So because my sweetie’s second primary love language is Words of Affirmation, I trained myself.

Not with some grand plan—just simple repetition.

If I thought something kind, I said it out loud. And I set calendar alerts to remind me to think something kind.

Real-time affirmation delivery system, activated.

Eventually, it became second nature.

Now, when I catch myself looking at my sweetie with googly eyes, I say the damn thing.

Because life’s too short to hoard affection like it’s ammo in a zombie apocalypse.

Words of Affirmation is one of the easiest love languages to get right.

Also one of the easiest to fake.

Watch for these traps:

1. Spoken words are worth the paper they are printed on.

“I said I love you—what more do you want?”

AKA: I did the bare minimum. No further effort will be made.

2. Love-bombing as currency

“You’re perfect.”

“I’ve never felt this way.”

“You’re my soulmate.”

Until you stop performing. Then they go quiet. Praise becomes a leash.

3. Weaponized compliments

“You’re such a supportive partner. It’s what I love most about you.”

Translation: Don’t stop supporting me. Ever. Or else.

4.Public praise, private shame

They rave about you in front of others, so when they tear you down in private, you doubt your own reality.

Gaslighting with a side of applause.

5.Compliments that erase your reality

“You’re always so upbeat!”

Meanwhile, you’re emotionally leaking out the side and no one’s noticed. You feel unseen, and boxed into being what they say about you to earn their love.

So if you love Words of Affirmation, don’t fall for lip service. Build your boundaries around behavior, not just flattery.

If your partner thrives on Words, be careful. Be real. Be specific. Be present.

Your words are free, but their heart is not.

If you want help navigating these love language landmines or you’re trying to untangle your past from your future love life, let’s talk.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consult with me right here:

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Ever been love-bombed or complimented into compliance? Ever had someone’s sweet words leave a sour aftertaste?

Hit reply. Tell me.

I’d love to hear your story. No judgment. Just truth.