November 5: Is your brain… kinda weird too?
“I’m doing what I need to do to cope with the brain I’ve been given.”
That line dropped like a truth bomb mid-recording yesterday when I was talking to SexCoachShannon on our Hoefessionals episode.
We were talking about denial kinks.
Not just the sexy ones, but the ones that show up in everyday life:
People-pleasing
Self-sabotage
Overgiving
Avoiding pleasure
Romantic masochism (I see you, chasenfreude survivors)
These aren't just trauma responses. They’re strategies. Adaptations.
Ways we cope with the brain we’ve got—even if that brain runs a little (or a lot) off the beaten path.
And when Shannon said that line—“I’m doing what I need to do to cope with the brain I’ve been given”—I felt it in my chest.
Because same.
I’ve got an odd-ass brain.
And spoiler alert: so do all of my clients.
Or maybe it’s more accurate to say—I’ve never met a single “typical” brain.
Everyone I work with is navigating relationships, dating, identity, and desire…
with a mental operating system that doesn’t quite match the default factory settings.
So when someone like Shannon owns that? That she’s not trying to fix her brain—just cope with it with compassion and creativity?
That hits different.
So let me say it out loud too:
I’m doing what I need to do to cope with the brain I’ve been given.
And here are a few ways I’ve done that over the years:
I set weird calendar reminders to say loving things to my partner because neurospicy time blindness is real.
I ask for long, grounding hugs like a goddamn emotional thunder vest.
I built “conflict protocols” so arguments don’t go on full Hunger Games.
I use dramatic hyperbole to help re-regulate when my body goes into DEFCON-12 mode over small stuff.
Because coping isn’t weakness.
It’s genius. It’s survival. It’s customization.
It’s life hacking with love.
So now I’m curious:
What have YOU done to cope with the brain you’ve been given?
Even the weird stuff.
Especially the weird stuff. (Those are usually the most brilliant.)
And if you’re stuck—if your strategies are wearing thin or turning on you, IYKYK—
Let’s talk.
Book a free 15-minute Big Ask session with me.
Bring your questions, your patterns, your brain.
Even if it’s glitchy as hell.
I’ll bring mine. Let’s find your next best step—together.
https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask
No judgment. Just strategy.
And maybe a little magic.
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)