February 3: How I got tricked into coaching (by being too damn helpful)
I didn’t set out to be a coach.
I was just… online. A lot.
Writing about my own journey.
Answering questions.
Offering insight.
Trying to make things a little less confusing, a little more kind, full of more love.
And for almost 14 years, when someone would say,
"Do you coach? Can I work with you?"
…I’d say no.
Not because I didn’t care.
But because I hadn’t said yes to that kind of power yet.
Until one day, about 3 years ago—I did, and it stuck.
Because this work—this one-on-one, custom-to-you, deep-in-the-dirt, light-in-the-dark kind of work—feels like home to me.
It’s still grounded in the same thing that started it all:
Helping people feel more like themselves.
More self-assured.
More in love—with who they are, who they’re with, and what they’ll no longer tolerate.
And I still answer questions online. A lot.
(Soon I’ll be sharing some of my favorite commentaries on YouTube: subscribe here.)
But if you’ve ever read the comments in any online advice group…
You know they can be a real…trip.
So I set boundaries.
Not for clout. Not for combat. But because boundaries are the ethics of online life.
Here’s how I show up:
– I don’t comment-fight. I respond directly to the OP.
– I always offer at least one positive step forward—even if I’ve got feedback too.
– I write for everyone reading. Not just the OP.
– I only reply to others’ comments when I can hype them up or give them a compliment.
– I get scrappy when someone comes at me—but even then, I lead with care, clarity, and boundaries.
I mention this because recently, a client of mine was struggling with online conversations that kept spiraling.
So we built a plan together. Their plan.
Not a copy of mine—but rooted in the same truth:
You get to decide how you show up.
Online, offline, in love, in conflict, in community.
And if you need help remembering that?
Take No Sh*t! Build better relationships through discovering, creating and maintaining healthy boundaries in three (sometimes five) simple steps.
It’s $9.99 on Kindle. Included with Kindle Unlimited.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CGSZ78NL
It’s not just about boundaries—it’s about becoming the kind of person you’re proud to be.
Even in the comments section.
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. Do you have your own social media rules? Or are you maybe struggling to set some?
Hit reply and tell me. I’d love to hear them. Or to help you make your own.