October 23: Want better matches? Show them your weird.

Yesterday, I joined a new Facebook group:

FROM WOMEN TO MEN RELATIONSHIP ADVICE.

I joined because a post from a young man caught my eye.

He was clearly struggling—feeling like he might be presenting the wrong version of himself and turning potential partners off.

And oof, I felt that.

So he posted a few photos of himself. There was a thirst trap photo (with a cat!), photos of him with friends, action photos, and one other photo. Not his face—just a fun outfit, complete with silly socks that had a smiley on them.

Cue the chorus of well-meaning women:

“It’s silly, which I like, but I don’t like it because it doesn’t show your face.”
“Nooo ditch the socks ahah.”
“This pic would make me pass.”
“Yikes.”

🙄

Now, the “show your face” comment? Valid, if it’s the only photo on a dating profile.

But if it’s one of six or more? Perfect.

It’s playful. It’s specific. It’s real.

The rest of that advice?

Trash.

But also?

Incredibly useful data.

Because what I told him—and what I’ll tell you—is this:

If someone sees a photo of your favorite socks and says “Yikes,” they’re not rejecting you. They’re filtering themselves out.

That’s not a loss. That’s a f*cking win.

If you love silly socks?

Wear them.

Own them.

Let your socks be your secret weapon.

Because if someone swipes left over smiley socks, imagine what they’ll do when you start quoting The Princess Bride, or when you mention you play D&D, or when you say “Actually, I like cuddling. A lot.”

And imagine the person who doesn’t swipe left.

The one who sees you fully and says, “Oh hell yes.”

That’s who you’re looking for.

Not the masses.

Your BEST-Fit.

The one who sees your quirks and says, “More, please.”

That’s what I call Radical Selection:

Being so unapologetically you that only the best people survive your authenticity filter.

So as I’m preparing to host a 100+ person kink/sex-positive mixer this evening, here’s my advice:

Stop trying to appeal to everyone.

Start showing up as you—nerdy, silly, introverted, kinky, heartfelt, whatever makes you you.

It’s the only way to find someone who fits.

And if you’re tired of guessing how to do that?

If you want help being bravely, unapologetically you in a dating world that rewards inauthenticity?

Let’s talk.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consultation with me.

Bring your quirks. Your socks. Your doubts.

I’ll bring the strategy and the sass.

Book Your Call Here: https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. What’s your “silly sock”?

That one part of you you’ve hidden or downplayed because you’re afraid it might turn someone off?

Hit reply and tell me.

I love this sort of conversation—and you might be surprised by what happens when you speak it out loud.