June 4: She liked him… until she didn’t.
She liked him.
He seemed kind.
They met at a class—tantra-adjacent, festival-vibe, that whole scene.
And when he invited her to connect sexually afterward, she was interested.
Just... not yet.
So she tried to say no.
Gently.
Not because she didn’t want him.
Not because he wasn’t attractive.
But because she wasn’t ready.
And instead of honoring that?
Instead of giving her space, safety, a chance to breathe?
He doubled down.
He suggested she go find another woman to join them.
(He knew she was there alone.)
And that’s when her interest vanished into the void.
Her readiness?
Dead. Gone. Ghosted itself.
But instead of reading the room and adjusting course?
He asked her again.
Every.
Single.
Time.
He saw her.
Looking her right in the eyes.
I watched this happen.
His energy rose over her, even though he was shorter.
She shrunk into herself like a flower trying to hide.
This wasn’t a woman new to attention.
This wasn’t someone who shies away from sensuality.
But that energy?
It wasn’t sexy. It was scary.
It wasn’t flirtation.
It was coercion, cloaked in “desire.”
And the worst part?
He thought he was being charming.
He thought persistence would win her over.
He thought that showing his interest—loudly, relentlessly—was debonair.
But she told me what it felt like:
Like she almost didn’t come back that day that I met her.
Like he’d stalked her—driving past her tent that first night just to see if she was there.
A mile away from his.
At night.
Uninvited.
She was relieved someone noticed.
She was grateful to have a witness.
But let me say it clearly:
It shouldn’t take surveillance to make people feel safe.
It shouldn’t take ten no’s before one is accepted.
And if you—dear reader—have ever had trouble saying no,
or saying it again,
or saying it louder,
I see you.
And if you've ever been confused about how to read a “soft no”?
Or afraid that backing off will mean you’ll miss your chance?
Let me tell you something that might just save your relationships:
People come toward what feels safe.
When you honor the no, you build trust.
When you give space, you invite real consent.
When you back off, they might just come back in.
And if they don’t?
That’s still not a loss.
That’s you being a decent human being.
I wish I could hand this young woman one of my books.
I wish I could press People-Pleaser No More into her hand and say,
“You never have to justify your No. You never have to explain your fear.”
But what I can do is help people like you—people who are open, trying, still learning—to get clarity.
On boundaries.
On safety.
On how to ask—and hear—the big things.
Which is why I offer my free 15-minute Big Ask consultation.
Bring me the hard questions.
Let’s answer them together.
Click here to book yours:
https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. Have you ever seen something like this play out?
Or been the one struggling to say no—or take a no?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Hit reply. Let’s talk.
P.P.S. Back in April, I told you about an evening out with a friend that got scary in a similar way.
A guy just wouldn't leave her alone.
And she had a hard time saying no.