January 28: “I’m mad at my husband.”
So I came across this post the other day.
A woman—married and straight (well, mostly, she said)—shared how watching Heated Rivalry made her feel…mad.
“I’m mad at my husband.
Not because he did anything wrong…but because after watching Heated Rivalry, I realized we’ve never looked at each other the way those two men do.
That deep longing. That aching desire. That can’t-stay-away kind of want.
And now I can’t stop wondering why I’ve never felt that with the person I married.”
Ooof.
I felt it in my chest—and then I felt something else.
Because just a few nights ago, my sweetie and I curled up in bed after watching the same show (again).
And instead of sadness, we felt heat.
Desire.
Recognition.
Of that deep longing.
The sweet frustration of almost.
The ache to touch and be touched in return.
It reminded us of us.
And honestly?
I can’t imagine being mad at the person I chose…for not being a fictional romance on a screen.
For not giving me something they never promised, never claimed, never pretended to be.
That anger feels like a deep betrayal.
Of a partner.
And of yourself.
And that gets me thinking about a word I coined back in November 2024:
Settleitis
/ˈsed(ə)l ˈīdəs/
noun
A disorder causing you to cling to mediocrity out of fear that no one else will swipe right on your quirks.
Used in a sentence:
“Her habit of smacking her gum felt like a small price to pay for companionship—until I remembered that settleitis isn’t covered by insurance.”
And look, I’m not judging that woman.
Or anyone else in that comment thread agreeing loudly.
Because I’ve heard that same ache from clients again and again. They want more. They deserve more.
Whether they’re trying to revive a long-term relationship…
Or finally build the one they always dreamed of.
So tomorrow, I’m going to tell you about a client of mine.
Someone who said no to settleitis in a surprising way.
But today?
If that ache feels familiar—if you’ve been wondering whether this is as good as it gets—I want to offer you something.
A free 15-minute Big Ask call.
Bring me your ache. Your hope. Your dream.
Let’s talk about what it would take to make that real.
https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. Did that post land in some sort of way for you, too? Did it stir up something you're afraid to admit out loud?
Hit reply and tell me. I promise—no judgment. Just curiosity, compassion, and maybe a little loving sarcasm.