December 10: What if they can see your fear?
They studied how women walk.
And the results? Violent criminals could spot who was most vulnerable—just by watching.
Specifically:
Women who moved too small.
Women who moved too big.
Women who carried themselves like they didn’t quite belong in their own skin.
That’s science.
A 2013 study—Psychopathy and victim selection: the use of gait as a cue to vulnerability—interviewed violent offenders.
And they all said it: How a woman walked influenced whether she became a target.
Not because she deserved it. Not because she was “asking for it.” But because some men are predators. And predators look for prey they think won’t be able to fight back successfully.
Let me be clear:
This study isn’t saying that a certain kind of walk = automatic victim. It’s saying that predators pick up on cues. And those cues matter.
Now. Cue the internet comment section:
“Why are we blaming how women walk? Blame the men!”
“We shouldn’t let violent men dictate women’s behavior.”
“This is just another version of ‘what were you wearing?’”
I hear that. I feel that.
But also—this is information. Useful, powerful, actionable information.
Rejecting data because it makes us uncomfortable is not progress. It’s fear dressed up as righteousness.
You want to hear something wild?
I should have been a statistic.
At 15, I hitchhiked across the country. I joined the carnival. I lived in NYC and hung out with homeless people in tunnels and abandoned buildings. I worked in an exclusive Manhattan strip club, and traveled the world—alone, broke, and female—all before I was 21.
I should have been hurt.
But I wasn’t.
Why? I don’t really know
I think about that study. I think about how I move. How I carry myself.
And I wonder if what kept me safe wasn’t luck but awareness. Confidence. The way I took up space, with neither apology nor bluster.
Not blame, insight.
AND I could have just been lucky. (But I do still take up space and pay attention to my surroundings.)
If you’ve ever read something uncomfortable and rejected it out of hand, if you’ve ever thought “that can’t be true, because I don’t want it to be…”
Let me lovingly suggest: that’s fear talking.
And fear is a terrible editor.
Want to talk about your version of this? What you’ve learned? What you’ve avoided learning because it felt too spicy, too emotionally dangerous?
Let’s talk.
Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consult with me.
https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. I know this is a charged topic. I want to hear your thoughts.
If you’ve got reactions—strong ones, quiet ones, “WTF Nookie?!” ones—hit reply. Let’s have that conversation.