January 16: What if you're accidentally filtering for the wrong people?

She was frustrated.

“Honestly I’m so over apps,” she posted. “It’s all men like this.”

Cue the screenshot.

A dating profile so dripping with Bromeopathic baitronizing and misogynistic megalomania, it felt like it crawled straight out of the scummiest corners of the Sulk-ernet:

“You're a good little product of society, aren't you?”

“I need a live-in assistant/maid/chef at my compound…”

“My dog’s full name is Bimmer Benz Bentley…”

UGH.

Let me say this: The world you're seeing is not all of the world you're living in.

I know guys like that exist. I’ve met them. I’ve even coached some after they realized the rage-vlog path wasn’t working.

But the truth?

I don’t see those profiles.

Not often.

Not because I’m in denial or because the manosnore hasn’t spilled its sewage into every digital corner.

But because… my brain literally filters them out.

Let me explain.

Back in 2007, I was listening to Tony Robbins on CD, and that’s where I learned about the Reticular Activating System (RAS)—the part of your brain that acts like a bouncer for your consciousness.

It decides what gets your attention... and what gets ignored.

Like how you suddenly notice the car you just bought everywhere.

Or how you can hear your name in a noisy room.

Or how you stop noticing profiles that don’t match your boundaries, beliefs, or desires.

When I wrote Take No Sh*t, I interviewed 100+ people about boundaries.

Every single one who said they had healthy, solid boundaries?

They were swimming in a different dating pool.

Like… whole new ecosystem.

They had recalibrated their RAS to highlight who and what actually mattered, and they were up-market shopping.

This isn’t about blame.

It’s about power.

Your power to shape what you see. Your power to let your goals, standards, and energy lead. Your power to believe your dating world doesn’t have to look like a trainwreck… even if the internet keeps broadcasting the worst-case scenarios.

If you’re ready to stop filtering life through fear and start filtering it through clarity, values, and desire...

Let’s talk.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask Call with me.

Bring your biggest relationship desire—the one that feels just out of reach—and we’ll take a real step toward it together.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Do you notice different things when you're dating consciously vs. when you're just... swiping on autopilot? Ever had a moment where your “type” changed and suddenly the whole world looked different?

Hit reply and tell me—I love hearing about this stuff.