December 16: Why she thinks you’re sweet... but not sexy.

“Do you ask women out?”

I asked that recently in a comment thread.

The guy had posted about how he had lots of women friends but no romantic relationships. No dates. Not even the potential for dates.

He replied,

“I used to ask women out... nothing changed as such, I just haven't met a woman who gives signs she might be receptive to being asked out in a long time.”

Sound familiar?

I told him what I’ve told so many of my clients over the years:

“It sounds like you’re waiting for a clear positive before asking someone out. That’s how you make friends: never ask anyone out unless you’re SURE they’ll say yes.”

That strategy is excellent if you’re trying to build a friendship circle.

But if you want romance, desire, and connection (and you already have friends)?

You’re gonna need a different set of tools. Ones that involve risk. Intention. And yes—potential for rejection.

One of my clients, was recently deep in this pattern.

We’d been working together for a while, helping him build community and new friendships.

He is charming. Friendly. Women love being around him.

But not a single date.

I said, “You’re making friends with everyone. You're too comfortable. Time to intentionally date.”

So I gave him the challenge:

Let women know he wanted to take them on a date.

Be clear. Be kind.

And make it easy for them to say yes or no—without pressure.

He was terrified.

“I’m going to need you for this!” he said.

“I’ll be right here,” I promised.

Two weeks later?

He had two dates lined up.

Both went well. One has serious potential.

All because he asked.

Not because the universe handed him a neon sign.

Not because he waited for 100% certainty.

Because he chose to risk it.

And—this is key—because he stayed cool even when it might’ve been a no.

So... just a thought:

Are you building friendships with women when you actually want more?

If so, maybe it’s time for your intentional dating challenge.

Want my help?

Book your free 15-minute Big Ask call right here.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

We’ll find out what’s really holding you back—and help you take your first bold step.

You don’t have to do it alone. I’ve got you.

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Have you ever fallen into the “wait until you’re sure” trap? Or made a friend you wished had been more?

I’d love to hear your story—hit reply and tell me.