November 25: What if they can feel it—and don’t know why?

Have you ever held back your feelings so long they turned into something else?

Yesterday, I mentioned Client B, who has been sitting on a crush.

Not just any crush—the “I care about them, I value their presence, and I do not want to mess this up” kind of crush.

And look—I get it.

Wanting something more can be terrifying when the “more” could cost you what you already have. Especially when what you have is GOOD.

But here’s the thing I’ve seen—over and over again:

Unspoken feelings often don’t just disappear.

They get weird.

They start leaking out the sides.

You think you’re doing a great job hiding your crush…but your vibe shifts. You hesitate. You stare too long. You act awkward. You start pulling away or hovering too close, and they—well, they feel it.

Even if they don’t know why.

Which reminds me of a story.

A client of mine had a falling out with his bestie in high school.

They stopped talking—a major fight over minor things lost to time, and then weirdness that spiraled into silence.

It stung. For years.

Fifteen years later, they ran into each other again and they started dating (not long after we started working together).

It wasn’t until they were already a couple that the question of “What happened?” finally came up.

Turns out?

She’d been in love with him back then, but she didn’t say anything.

Instead of being honest, she let her frustration and confusion—and quite frankly, anger—wreck a friendship that meant the world to both of them.

Luckily, they got a second chance at everything. But who knows what might have happened if she’d been honest way back when.

So yeah, I lean toward honesty. With one big caveat:

Honesty without expectation.

Which sounds simple but it’s really not.

Something like:

“Hey, I’ve developed a crush on you. I’m not telling you this because I expect anything. I just wanted you to know. I value our friendship deeply. And if you’re not interested in exploring anything more, I still want to keep that friendship strong.”

And then mean it.

Like, actually MEAN IT.

Yes, it might sting. Yes, it’s vulnerable.

But it also lets you stop carrying this giant secret around like it’s a briefcase full of bees.

I tell my clients this all the time: “If your life is better with this person in it—exactly as it is—you’re already winning.”

That doesn’t mean you don’t want more. It means you don’t need more in order to value what you have.

And a heaping helping of compersion helps, bigly.

(Which, btw, I did a whole workshop on not long ago.)

It’s a hell of a skill to develop—the ability to feel joy when someone you care about feels joy…even if it’s not with you.

If you’re in this boat right now? Treading water in unspoken feels? Let’s talk.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consultation.

Bring your crush. Bring your nerves. Bring your “I have no idea what the fork to do.”

We’ll figure it out together.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Have you ever caught feelings for a friend? Did you tell them? Did you not tell them?

I’m nosy and I love a story. If you hit reply and spill, I won’t tell. 😉