October 29: Sharing everything? You might be doing it wrong.

This morning, I saw a Facebook comment that made me want to hurl a chair through the nearest window.

A woman posted because she felt crushed and insecure. You see, her ex-husband had talked about women with huge boobs (she had B cups) for 20 years. He also had a porn addiction, and he didn’t show that he ever really saw her beauty.

She felt invisible. Unloved. Compared.

Some other guy chimed in with this gem:

“I think equality has meant a lot of men treat their wives like their best friends which really isn’t how a lot of women want to be treated.

If you can’t share something with your wife, who can you share it with?”

My response?

“YOUR FRIENDS. Or someone you pay—like a coach, a mentor, or a therapist.

Your romantic partner is not your dumping ground. Or your fixer.

Being best friends still doesn't mean you use your partner to absorb everything.

That's not sexy. It's not romantic. It's a 💩 way to treat someone.”

And that right there?

That’s what I was talking about last night.

(All genders, of course.)

You might say that you love your romantic partner.

You might say that you cherish them.

But do you SHOW them?

Do you actually communicate your appreciation?

Or do you turn them into your emotional toilet, your “best bud,” all in the name of “sharing everything”?

No boundaries. No awareness of (or care for) their emotional load or headspace.

Just a firehose of your darkest fantasies, deepest insecurities, and unsolicited comparisons...

While still putting on your best face for strangers and co-workers.

(Not even gonna dwell on how he blamed it all on “equality.”)

THAT’S NOT LOVE.

That’s not even friendship.

It’s emotional laziness dressed up as intimacy.

And when the relationship ends, these same people?

They don’t get help.

They don’t get real.

They usually just slap on a new face, impress a new stranger… and start the cycle all over again.

Because they’ve never learned how to curate actual friendships.

They’ve never gotten a mentor or a therapist or a coach.

They just keep using their romantic relationships as their only emotional outlet.

And if you’re reading this and thinking:

“Shit… I might be doing this.”

Good. I’m glad I could shine a bit of light on this for you.

The question now is:

What are you going to do about it?

Maybe watch last night’s replay? It’s up until tomorrow, when I’ll edit it and add it to The Studio, but you can watch it for free now:

https://workshops.curiouser.life/wcdRKIVobLlbYonWU

You don’t have to be perfect.

But you do have to be willing to stop dumping and start connecting and appreciating.

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Have you ever been on either side of this dynamic?

Either dumping on someone you loved without thinking… or being the one who got dumped on?

I want to hear from you.

Hit reply and tell me what this brought up for you.