October 26: Do THIS before reentering the dating pool.
Last Saturday, I got back from teaching at Hedonism in Jamaica.
It was cold (for NC), I was wiped, and real life felt like a rude awakening. So I took Sunday to rest. No pants, no guilt, no productivity badge earned.
Monday, I was ready to jump back in—two events this week, tech-fueled flows, lots of humans involved.
And then... Aazon Web Services broke.
Dominoes fell. Chaos reigned. Systems failed. It was like the internet got drunk and rage-quit my to-do list. I’m WAY behind.
But I survived.
Friday, I ran the final Swingler of the season—183 bold, sexy, wonderful people in wild costumes, living their best lives in 40-degree weather like it was no big deal.
Yesterday, I didn’t quite crash—I coasted. Read a bit. Got outside. Laughed with a friend. Let myself be instead of do.
And today? I’m off to an oyster roast. A perfect little Fall moment.
Now—I don’t usually just journal in these emails. I like to leave you with something deeper.
So when someone asked yesterday:
"Any advice for dating again after divorce?"
Ohhh yes. I do.
Here’s what I said:
6. Don’t just date online. The APPathy Cycle is real.
5. Have fun. If dating feels like a job interview, you’re doing it wrong.
4. Date to meet people—not just partners.
3. Know what you want so you know what to walk away from.
2. Build a life that fills you up—don’t expect dating to fill the holes.
And the biggest one?
1. If you don’t have a solid, ride-or-die friend group where you can be 100% yourself and feel supported AF—start there.
Too many people put pressure on a potential partner to be everything: lover, best friend, therapist, emotional support animal.
That’s not a relationship. That’s a codependent reality show.
Build your damn village first. The love stuff? Way easier when you’re already full.
And hey—if you’re ready for some support figuring out how to actually do that…
Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consultation with me:
https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask
Let’s talk about what you want—and how to get there.
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. Ever tried dating after a long break or after divorce?
What was the hardest part for you? Hit reply and tell me. I’m all ears—and I read every word.