January 15: More relationships = more breakups? Let’s talk.
Someone online said, “That’s why polly [sic] relationships fail more than any other.”
Another person chimed in with this zinger, “95% of all relationships fail.”
Neither backed it up. No sources. No nuance. Just OPINIONS in capital letters.
Me? I was already 7 tabs deep into a research rabbit hole for my upcoming book about men, money, and dating, so...
I went digging. And holy clusterfluff, I love science!
Here’s what I found:
Around 70% of relationships don’t survive the first year.
Over 85% of dating situations end in breakups.
41–50% of marriages end in divorce. (Higher for some groups.)
Long-distance relationships? Roughly 40% crash and burn.
And about 85% of people will experience at least one breakup in their lifetime.
So depending on how you define “relationship,” 95% might not be wrong.
It might even be low.
And if you count those maybe-sorta-possibly-a-thing connections from dating apps (you know, where you chat for weeks, share traumas, maybe flirt a little... and then ghost each other forever)?
That’s technically a relationship. And yeah, it failed.
Which brings us back to Polly-want-a-cracker…
I mean, back to nonmonogamy. In all its beautiful, complicated, multi-hearted glory.
Of course people in multiple relationships are going to have more breakups. You don’t get breakup immunity just because your Google calendar is poly-synced.
Which is exactly why I’ve taught classes on breaking up and being broken up with in the past.
It’s not just inevitable. It’s a skill.
And I’m teaching it again later this year.
Because I care about helping people navigate hard endings with softness and clarity—and come out the other side with their dignity (and sense of humor) intact.
So if you’re in, around, or curious about nonmonogamy...
If you’ve ever wondered why your relationships aren’t working (monogamous OR otherwise)...
If you’re tired of the manosnore BS, and ready to actually build the love life you dream of...
Let’s talk.
No pressure. Just 15 minutes. You bring your Big Ask, I’ll bring my big brain.
Book your free consultation here:
https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask
I’ve been nonmonogamous for over a decade.
I’ve walked the walk. Now I help good-hearted, smart humans like you build the relationship lives they actually want.
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. What do you think about the 95% failure claim? Have you noticed patterns in your own love life that reflect this? Or does it feel wildly off to you?
Hit reply—I genuinely want to hear your take.