November 14: Can a 1985 marriage help your 2025 dating life?

Someone in a Facebook advice group I’m in said:

“I don’t take advice from single people.”

Someone else followed with:

“Happily married 40+ years? That’s who I do listen to.”

And I’ll be honest…I almost replied. I started typing. Then deleted.

Not because I didn’t have a take.

(I always have a take.)

But because in groups like this, I make a policy to only comment with my own thoughts OR to comment positively on another’s points. And I wasn’t about to be positive.

Sure—it sounds reasonable.

Long, happy marriage = wisdom, right?

Maybe.

But if they’ve been married 40+ years, they tied the knot in 1985 or before.

Before dating apps. Before online profiles. Before the Bro-vosphere started growling at women and selling snake oil to men.

You think they know what it’s like to date after divorce?

To escape a decade-long abusive marriage?

Swipe until your thumbs fall off?

Get ghosted after four weeks of what felt like actual connection?

They might.

But… they might not.

Maybe they married their high school sweetheart, never dated anyone else, and still think “online dating” means meeting in a chat room about knitting.

Or maybe they’re kinky swingers with 7,000+ notches on the bedpost each.

Is that your goal?

I’m not saying married people can’t offer good advice.

I’m saying longevity ≠ wisdom and it definitely doesn’t guarantee relevance.

Advice only matters if it meets you where you are.

Not where they were.

I’m not saying DON’T take advice from someone who has been happily married for 40+ years.

I’m not saying DO.

I’m saying: Listen to people who get it.

Who see you. Who understand the weirdness of dating in 2025—initifatigue, swipe exhaustion, kink-curiosity, trust issues, the APPathy Cycle, all of it.

And for everyone else, including friends, family, therapists, or coaches/mentors?

Smile. Say thank you.

Then ask yourself: Does this actually fit ME?

That’s where I come in.

If you're not sure what fits—or you’re ready to figure out what actually will—book a free 15-minute Big Ask consultation with me.

Bring me your biggest question, confusion, or craving.

We’ll go from there.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. What do you think?

Can someone happily married since the Reagan administration actually help today’s single people navigate this dating clusterfluff?

Hit reply and let’s chat.