October 30: Lonely is welcome. Attacking isn’t.

On Wednesday, I shared some thoughts about the male loneliness epidemic.

Specifically, that although many men are romantically lonely, many non-men are too, and that loneliness is a human problem, not a gender problem.

If you’re on this list, I’m pretty sure you got it.

I also asked:

“What’s your gut reaction when you hear ‘male loneliness epidemic’?

And have you felt the kind of loneliness this conversation is about, whatever your gender?”

But that post traveled a little further than usual on Facebook, and the comments section did what comments sections do.

Here’s a sampling:

“…most [women] are willing to divorce if you forgot to stop for milk on the way home.”

“why do you care if we’re lonely or not? Mind your own business.”

“Women only need basic decency, deep love and a few dad jokes?? You forgot the other 3472 other requirements.”

“Hypergamy IS the cause of the loneliness epidemic as well as the cause of women’s anger towards men in the current dating climate.” That guy also shared a comic as “proof.” I’ve posted it, because you really have to see it to believe it.

And two of my personal favorites:

“When someone says “male loneliness epidemic” I hear “women coping with the fact that no Man wants their dumb asses around anymore annoying the shit out of them”. I would rather just jerk-off to porn than deal with their shit.”

“It’s Made up by rejected feminists.”

Now, on FB, I rarely go beyond my friends and their friends.

But since I’m starting to connect out of that range, I’ve been trying to figure out what earns a block there that isn’t blatantly sexual or violent.

You see, I do want to be there for people who want to think and grow.

And I do not want to engage with people who will bring the vibe down.

And sometimes those are the same people.

So I have to ask myself: Is it worth it?

As I write this, the answer is no.

This morning, I’m blocking everyone from that post who had shitty things to say about women.

I won’t block people who just seem lonely or frustrated.

But those who immediately go on the attack, even with a soft misogyny... that’s my line.

By the time you read this, I’ll have cleared it out.

(And to be crystal clear: if you’re reading this, I’m not talking about you.)

Because here’s the thing.

I used to love scrapping and arguing online.

It was entertainment for me.

But now I realize it’s not joyful for me anymore, and even more importantly, it brings harm to those who might otherwise grow and learn with me.

And that is absolutely not worth it.

So, bye-bye haters. May you learn and grow elsewhere... or not.

I’m here for a different breed of people.

The ones who are lonely, frustrated, maybe even a little angry at how dating has gone, and are still willing to look at what they want and what’s getting in the way.

That’s where everything starts to change.

If that’s you, I have two coaching spots open right now. Let’s spend 15 minutes on what you actually want.

👉 https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Where’s your line? When someone comes in swinging in your comments (or your DMs, or the family group chat), do you engage, ignore, or block?

I read every reply.