October 19: When was the last time you were wrong?

This morning I watched a reel of Neil deGrasse Tyson recounting being asked a deceptively simple question:

When was the last time you were wrong?

He said he looked like a dog that had heard a high-pitched noise.

Confused.

Befuddled.

Not because he’s never wrong, but because of how he holds his beliefs in the first place.

“Because as a scientist, I don’t want to say I delight in being wrong. I delight in being corrected.”

I had thoughts.

Lots of them.

Because most of us don’t live like that.

We prioritize feeling right over so many other experiences, including connection and, of course, correction.

Zoom out and you’ll see entire cultures running on that right now.

It reminded me of a friend.

He was recently divorced and getting his life back together, and he was taking all the right actions.

Putting himself out there.

Hanging with awesome people with inclusive and loving beliefs.

But there was one thing he did not (would not) do:

He would not admit that he was ever wrong BEFORE.

And that one thing was all it took for me to realize everything else was going to come crumbling down.

(Spoiler: it did. His first real relationship after the marriage imploded. The event invitations quietly stopped. And bit by bit, he slid right back into his old habits.)

Because he was still exactly who he was.

He was just trying on more relaxed, more sex-positive, more loved and loving like a Halloween costume.

Not because he was consciously malevolent.

He wasn’t.

But admitting he might have contributed to his marriage falling apart and being alienated from his children?

That would hurt.

A lot.

So he protected himself from the pain, and from the growth right along with it.

I call this rightgasm: that quick, delicious hit of feeling right, chased so hard you’ll sacrifice connection, growth, and sometimes everything else to keep getting it. see also: whygasm

A costume doesn’t change who’s wearing it.

So let me ask you:

Do you even know what you’re still defending?

Where are you still stuck in “right over growth”?

If you’re not sure (or you are, and it stings a little), that’s exactly what a free 15-minute Big Ask call is for.

Bring the story you keep telling about what went wrong.

I’ll help you find the part you might be protecting, without shame, and figure out what to actually do with it.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Here’s the reel if you want to watch it yourself: https://www.facebook.com/share/v/19s4xRrDpC/

Then hit reply and tell me: When was the last time you were corrected and actually delighted in it? (Or, let’s be honest, at least survived it?)