October 7: Why "hi" gets you nowhere (and sometimes blocked)…

Someone asked me a question online this morning, and I want to answer it properly.

I'd posted that I I’d blocked someone based on their first messages.

I do this usually for egregiously bad communication.

Sometimes for rudeness, or obscenity nobody asked for.

A man replied:

"Can someone explain why is ,,hi"or something like that not good as a first message?What you expect?"

I'm going to answer as if he's asking in good faith.

Because plenty of people genuinely don't know.

"Hi" is nothing.

It means nothing.

It's a greeting.

And online, where you have more than a split second to make contact, it's a low-effort, throwaway move.

Most sites let you read a profile, find a conversation opener, and show interest.

"Hi" skips all of it.

There's more, though.

I've been online since 1994, and in my experience, "Hi" is often sent by people who want to feel like they've made an effort at connection... and then expect the other person to carry the conversation.

Person 1: "Hi"
Person 2: "Hello. How are you?"
Person 1: "Good"
Person 2: ...

See it?

There's nothing offered to build a conversation from.

I call that going Hi and Dry: you drop a greeting, then leave the other person stranded doing all the work.

Now compare these.

Both were actually sent to me:

"Hey! Your profile was recommended to me, and I noticed you've got 1,503 writings on here. What have you learned from writing so much publicly?"

"WOW! Your image with the glow lingerie is stunning. I also read that you host parties. What do you love about that?"

Both are nearly as easy as "hi."

They show they read the profile.

They show real interest.

And they hand the receiver a genuine invitation to talk.

Not cleverness.

Not a perfect line.

Curiosity, made visible.

Note: My company is named Curiouser for a reason…

If you're sending messages into the void and hearing crickets, it might not be you.

It might be what you're sending.

Let's find out.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consultation, bring a few of your openers (or your profile), and I'll show you exactly where your conversations are dying and how to give them a pulse.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. What's the best first message you've ever received or sent? Or the worst?

Hit reply and tell me. I want to hear both.