September 14: A What VS. A Who (this one matters)

I saw a comment on social media last week that inspired today’s writing.

Someone posted a photo of a very attractive, very A-list celebrity, and wrote:

"I spy with my little eye... Grey hair? I have no idea when this was taken. But geez they are aging at an exponential rate."

I have a few thoughts.

I had my first grey hair at 19.

At 53, I have fewer greys than most people my age.

Which tells you exactly nothing about how fast anyone is "aging," and everything about how ridiculous it is to compare bodies, especially bodies we've never actually seen up close.

My greys don't define me.

They don't make me less capable, less kind, less sharp.

I love them, actually.

They're evidence of a life lived, not a flaw to be spotted like a typo.

While I was writing this, my partner walked in with no clothes on, mid-thought, asking me for a favor.

He's 59.

Do I notice the years on him?

Of course.

I'm sure he notices them on me too.

But just like I love my greys, I love what his body says about the time we've spent together.

The stress we've weathered.

The joy we've shared.

His beard's also going greyer, less ginger than it used to be, and I love that too.

Because I don't love a what. I love a who.

And that's really my point here.

Social media has trained us to react to the what, not the who.

As if the person on our screen isn't a person at all, just pixels assembled for our consumption and critique.

I don't love that.

So here's my proposal, to all of us:

Let's stop picking anyone apart in a way we wouldn't be willing to have turned on ourselves.

Or someone we love.

Before we say the critical thing, we might ask ourselves how it would land if it were aimed directly at us.

Or our partners.

Or our little sisters.

Or the friend quietly struggling with depression.

Or our aging mothers.

Putting kindness into the world is never the wrong call. ❤️

If this stirred something up for you, about how you see yourself, how you see the people you love, or how you talk to yourself in the mirror, let's talk about it.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consultation with me, and we'll dig into what "loving the who, not the what" could actually look like in your life.

Book your free Big Ask consultation → https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. I want to hear this from you: what's one thing about your own body or aging that you've quietly decided to stop apologizing for?

Hit reply, I read every one.