September 3: Skip "you're so pretty." Try this instead.
Yesterday, I shared something in my Discord community I'm not ready to hand over to the wide open internet.
Something personal.
About power, about events, about pieces of myself I'm still holding close (for reasons that are mine to keep, at least for now).
One response to it stopped me in my tracks:
"I have heard all my freaking life how I'm 'so pretty.' Never worked for it until the beginning of this year. Have never felt deserving of the attention because it wasn't something I control or sought to possess. I was just born into it."
I sat with that for a minute.
Then I replied with something I believe down to my bones: some random stranger telling me I'm pretty doesn't really move me.
Never has.
I don't wear much makeup, I don't chase the look, and honestly, pretty is so subjective it barely registers until we're actually intimate.
But someone telling me they want to hump my brain?
That gets a swoon out of me every single time.
Someone asking my opinion on something I care about, and actually being interested in the answer?
That's the good stuff.
Of course I want the people I'm intimate with to find me attractive.
But that's the dessert, not the main course.
It reminded me of something I wrote back in 2016. A little thing called Give Compliments. Lots of Compliments. Do It Right in 9 Easy Steps.
Don't bother being smooth. Be authentic.
Say it when you mean it.
Be creative.
Compliment what makes them unique to you.
Don't just compliment the physical.
Don't add modifiers.
Compliment them as you touch them (with consent).
Compliment what doesn't come naturally to them.
Figure out what they value about themselves, and compliment that.
I turned it into a full PDF, details on every step, and I'm dropping it in the Studio today.
Not in there yet?
Reply "I want to learn" with your Discord ID, and I'll get you set up.
Here's a challenge for you, {{contact.first_name}}:
Go do it.
Compliment someone. Compliment ten someones. Be authentic. Be interested in their uniqueness. Connect.
Do it today. Report back if you feel like it.
Make someone feel amazing.
Today, and every day after.
--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. What's a compliment that actually landed for you? One that felt real, specific, seen. Not the generic "you're so pretty" kind.
Hit reply. I want to hear it.