August 14: 83 sex-positive people walked into a bar...

Last night, I ran a mixer.

83 friendly, sex-positive, consent-forward people showed up to make new friends.

We did five rounds of speed-chatting, ten minutes each, different pairings every round.

Then the dance floor got used for its intended purposes.

Everywhere I looked: smiles.

Real conversation.

People actually listening to each other.

And three separate times, from three separate conversations, one word kept coming up.

Wholesome.

Whoulda' thunk it?

You get a room full of open-minded, tantric, kinky, nearly-feral people together, and somehow that adds up to wholesome.

Every single time.

I sat with that for a minute this morning, because it's not what most people would predict.

But the more I turned it over, the more obvious it became.

Sex and intimacy stop being wholesome only when they're not done openly.

Not with authenticity.

Not with consent.

Not with real connection.

That's it.

That's the whole formula.

Like most things worth having, it can be a force for good, in the right hearts and hands.

The kink, the flirting, the dancing with abandon?

That's not what makes something wholesome or not.

What makes it wholesome is how people show up to it.

So here's what I want to leave you with this weekend: think about the last time you felt truly wholesome in a moment of intimacy.

Not "appropriate."

Not "acceptable."

Wholesome.

Was it the act itself, or was it how present and honest you were inside of it?

If you're local and curious, come find me at the next mixer.

Come see it for yourself.

And if you're sitting with that question, the one about what "wholesome" actually looks like in your dating life, your relationships, and your version of intimacy?

That's exactly the kind of thing I love unpacking on a Big Ask call.

Fifteen minutes, no pitch, just a real conversation about what you're actually looking for.

Book your free Big Ask here: https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

A big thank you to everyone who showed up last night.

You made the room what it was.

--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. What's a moment that surprised you by feeling more wholesome than you expected?

Hit reply and tell me, I read every one.