June 9: Sir. SIR. This is a Wendy's.

I took the past week off. Completely off.

We lost our kitty, Birdie, and it wrecked me.

Her cancer escalated fast, right as we were also losing my partner's mother and tending to her affairs.

It was a lot.

It was heavy.

And I needed to just be in it for a minute.

Please, kiss your pets and loved ones for me.

Today, I'm back.

And of course, the internet was right there waiting with content.

I came across this post making the rounds, and I need to pick it apart with you over the next few days. But today, I want to start at the end, because the last line is the whole problem.

The writer spent a few paragraphs listing all the ways women are bad at communicating in dating (ghosting, breadcrumbing, dry replies, you know the list) and then wrapped it up with this:

"…let's stop pretending modern dating encourages emotional maturity on either side."

Sir.

SIR.

LOL, okay, I'm not actually going to tell him this is a Wendy's, but I do want to ask:

Who told this man that modern dating is supposed to encourage anything?

Dating is not your mother.

It is not your therapist, your life coach, or the warm hand on your shoulder when you're struggling.

It is a context.

A place where you show up as whoever you already are.

That's the thing people keep missing.

Emotional maturity isn't something dating gives you.

It's something you bring.

People who want it, work on it. For themselves.

Not because an app required it, or because they read a Reddit post, or because someone finally held them accountable.

(And the people complaining online about how emotionally immature everyone else is? Bless their hearts. That's not the move.)

If you've ever found yourself wondering why no one meets you where you are in dating, that's the question worth sitting with.

Not "why is dating broken," but "what am I actually communicating to the world?”

That's exactly what a free Big Ask session is for.

It's 15 minutes, it's real talk, and it might be the thing that shifts the whole frame for you.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

--
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Speaking of online dating rants, I know you've seen them. Maybe you've written one. What's the most unhinged, almost-had-a-point, or deeply-telling dating rant you've come across (or let fly yourself)?

Hit reply and share it with me. I read every one.