May 11; "Women want experience." Sure, babe. Sure.

My sweetie and I just spent the weekend in western NC, deep in the mountains.

I hiked, I stood behind waterfalls, I breathed green (IYKYK), and I generally let nature do that thing it does where your whole nervous system exhales.

He cycled.

We refueled.

It was exactly what we both needed.

And this morning? I had nothing.

An hour in, zero inspiration, just walking, tea, and vibes.

Then I checked my messages from the weekend.

Two of them. Both gotchas.

And if you know me at all, you know I live for a good gotcha. (NOT)

On Friday I wrote that I don't see inexperience as a selling point.

Two men replied (paraphrased):

"Well, you're a woman. Women look for experienced men."

Deep sigh.

So close to the point that you could lick it, and still completely miss it.

Here's the thing:

Well-adjusted adults generally look for partners with similar levels of experience.

Not identical, not in every area. My partner knows the outdoors the way I know relationships, and we both genuinely respect what the other brings.

That's not a power imbalance; that's complementary.

But the baseline has to balance out.

Because most healthy adults are not in the market to raise a partner.

This isn't a woman thing.

It's a human thing.

You know who does love a dramatic experience gap?

People who can't compete on equal footing.

People whose internal monologue goes something like: "I may not be their best... but I could be their only."

And honestly?

If you can't hear how that sounds, this probably isn't the space for you.

Experience isn't intimidating to someone who's secure.

It's attractive.

The people who are threatened by your growth are telling you something important about themselves. Listen to them.

If you're tired of dating advice that keeps you small, I'd love to talk.

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask with me, and let's figure out what's actually getting in your way:

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Got thoughts on this one? Experienced something like it?

Hit reply and let's get into it. I read every message.