April 15: My AI confession (it's less dramatic than it sounds)…
About a month ago, a man commented on one of my pieces that it "reads like AI wrote it." He softened it with "just my opinion" and "no disrespect intended."
I blocked him.
We'll come back to that.
Since then, a client also asked me about AI.
Then someone noticed I'd flagged one of my podcast episodes as containing AI content and wanted to know more.
So here we are.
I use AI. I want to be honest about how.
I've been writing nearly every day for over a decade.
Some of you have been here since before Dating Kinky, before 2010, back when I joined FetLife in its first year and started making friends everywhere online.
I have 1,400+ writings on FetLife alone. Multiple books. During the pandemic, I produced over 500 hours of educational video content—live, before AI was a household word.
Before that, instructionals. Before that, training programs for a large multinational corporation.
Writing is not new to me.
I use a grammar-smoothing tool (like Grammarly, but not) because I'm slightly dyslexic and I'd rather catch errors than pretend they don't happen.
I also use it to help trim my tendency to over-explain. I might write 650 words and ship 530. I use it to help draft sales content for a side business.
And yes, I flag podcast episodes when I use an AI voice tool—because I believe in gender diversity and being transparent about it.
(In today’s podcast, you can listen to a few AI voices that I’ve used, to understand what I’m talking about.)
This writing? Not AI.
The ideas, the voice, the stories, the invented vocabulary—that's all me.
Has been for years.
AI was trained on people like me.
Our work, our style, our thinking is what makes it function at all. And, of course, our posting it on the internet.
As an art hobbyist, I don't use generative AI to create images or make things for me—EVER.
At one point, I considered AI-generated video to represent more gender diversity, and you told me no.
Honestly? Same.
Here's the thing most people don't pause to consider:
AI is already embedded in your daily life. Your social media feed. Your navigation app. Your spam filter. The phone you're probably reading this on (and its predictive text).
Over 99% of Americans interact with AI daily without thinking twice about it.
We all draw our own lines.
Someone will still tell me I'm using it too much. That person probably found me through an AI-powered algorithm.
That's fine.
We're all allowed to draw our own lines in the sand.
What I care about is being someone you can actually trust.
And trust requires honesty—even when it's a little inconvenient.
If you've got questions you'd genuinely like to ask me about how I work, what I use, or just about your own relationships and dating life, my free 15-minute Big Ask consultation is exactly that.
No pitch. No fluff.
Just a real conversation.
Because human-to-human is where I’d rather be, anyway.
https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask
Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)
P.S. Speaking of AI assumptions: someone watched an old video of mine—recorded years ago—and thought my voice was AI. I don't know whether to be flattered or concerned.
P.P.S. On the non-AI side—the fully human side—I do wonder about people like that guy. Why would someone read a piece that carefully lays out a point a lot of people struggle with, asks for genuine reflection, and then write a dismissive comment that has nothing to do with any of it?
(HINT: If you have to say "no disrespect intended," you already know your words are disrespectful. You're just trying to avoid responsibility.)