March 19: Einstein never said this. But it still works.

There's a post going around social media right now.

Maybe you've seen it.

It claims that Albert Einstein had two questions he used to catch a liar:

"What do you mean by that?" and "How do you know that?"

Spoiler: I can't find a single credible source that backs this up. I'm pretty sure ol' Albert is just being borrowed for credibility. Classic appeal to authority.

But here's the thing.

That doesn't make the questions bad.

A skilled, practiced liar will sail right through them, sure. But your run-of-the-mill homegrown liar? Different story entirely.

I know this firsthand.

I met a guy for a first date. Tea, nothing fancy. He said something that gave me pause, and I asked a question.

Just a simple question.

What followed was a full-blown transphobic tirade, including a claim that 99% of people who get gender-affirming surgery regret it later. Which I knew was wildly wrong.Every major study puts regret rates below 1%, compared to 8-10% for knee replacements and up to 16% for the radical hysterectomy I had done. The 1% figure is exceptional by medical standards.

So I asked him about the documentary he cited. What was it called? Where could I find it?

He had no idea.

No title.

No network.

No names.

Nothing.

And then he got mad. Really mad.

And when I suggested that we check Google for studies on the regret rate, he got mad enough to yell at me in the coffee shop—with actual spittle—and pretty sure I saw steam coming out of his ears. I got up, thanked him for his time, and left.

I didn't block him fast enough on the walk home. He texted me: "That was immature of you."

LOL.

Here's what I want you to take from this:

Questioning or disagreeing with someone (authentically, curiously) is one of the most useful tools you have in early dating.

Not to trap people,.

Not to win arguments.

Just to see what actually happens when you push back a little. What they do when they can't back up a claim tells you everything.

I write about this in my book, Start With No: For those who give too much—a new plan for dating.

Saying no, questioning, and disagreeing is how you learn who someone actually is before you're already deep in it.

It's a filter, not a fight.

Well, sometimes it’s a fight! ROFL!

It's available on Amazon Kindle and Kindle Unlimited, and directly through me in print, PDF, and audio. Grab it here:

https://shop.curiouser.life/start-with-no-dating-product.

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. Have you ever asked a question on a date or in a relationship that accidentally revealed way more than you bargained for?

Hit reply. I want to hear the story.