February 12: Stop trying to get what you want!

A man messaged me on Facebook curious about my Big Ask consultation.

He was frustrated. Defensive. Raw about the whole relationship thing.

At one point he said:

"i just had a conversation with a woman who clearly stated womens needs are more important than a mans"

I could feel how much that rattled him.

So I said:

“Well, I’ll say that my needs are more important than yours TO ME. LOL!”

And I meant it.

When I’m in a relationship, I believe that while my needs come first, his needs are important to me, because our relationship is what fills us both up—and it takes TWO.

That’s the part so many people miss.

And honestly?

I think this highlights how I’m different from a lot of the relationship gooroos out there.

They preach “how to get yours from others.”

I teach how to be the person who CONNECTS with others.

It’s not that I don’t think you should have… literally whatever you want in a relationship.

I do.

But I don’t believe it’s about finding the right psychological lever, the perfect script, or the clever strategy that tricks someone into handing it over.

It’s about being the kind of person who inspires that.

And offering the same level of care and steadiness in return.

It’s less about what other people DO.

And more about who you are.

That shift may sound small.

To some of you it might even sound naive. Or hopeless.

But I can tell you this:

It changes everything. It makes things simpler.

Not easier. That part comes with practice, practice, and more practice.

But simpler.

Instead of obsessing over what they should be doing, you ask:

Am I being the person I want to be?

Am I clear about what I will and will not accept?

Am I doing what feels good and right to me?

Am I loving this person the way I want to love them?

A few honest questions create clarity.

And clarity creates a path forward.

Every time.

If you’re tired of feeling defensive, reactive, or stuck in conversations like the one he described…

Book a free 15-minute Big Ask consultation with me.

https://my.curiouser.life/15-minutes-big-ask

We’ll look at what’s actually happening underneath your frustration and what to do about it.

Rev Heather, aka Nookie, LUQ
https://my.curiouser.life
+1-855-712-5433 (toll-free)

P.S. I’m genuinely curious—when you hear someone say something like that, what does it bring up for you?

Hit reply and tell me. I read every response.